May 10, 2010

Grant Goes to a London Hotel

I'm staying in London on business. There have already been some awesome things occurring in my hotel. 3 nights to go!

1.) When I tried to dial the front desk for a wake up call, the automatic button instead directed me to a Chinese takeout restaurant. The woman's poor English and my (reasonable) expectations that it was the hotel's front desk clerk made for a very awkward 4 minute conversation.

2.) There is a permanent, wall-mounted flowbee like device for shaving one's face in the bathroom. THE FACE.  I'm really tempted to try it, but too terrified to do so. (I'll update with a picture when I'm back in the states). 

3.) I couldn't figure out how to turn on the lights in my room for  2 hours. I eventually took a shower in pitch black darkness. I also found it strange that no matter how hard I tried, I could not get the hand soap to lather when washing my hands. Turns out the soap was still wrapped in plastic. Too bad it was dark! The lady at the front desk (when we spoke in person) explained I had to insert my keycard into a slot on the wall before the lights would work. Why did we speak in person? Please re-read #1.

4.) My hotel television comes with Al Jazeera. So, if Osama bin Laden makes a new video this week I'll totally have the inside scoop.

5.) This morning I was unable to turn on the shower and was forced to take a bath instead. Apparently, I was able to do this in pitch black darkness, but not with the assistance of the light.

6.) The 10 British Pounds (approx. $18) I'm paying per day for internet access in my room does not cover the cost of internet access 1 floor down in the lobby.

7.) When cleaning my room, the maid took my dirty underpants from the floor and placed them neatly on the desk chair. Good thing I was able to figure out how to use the restroom in pitch black darkness so they were still reasonably clean.

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