January 29, 2010

Work Appropriate Week!

Despite the certificate I proudly display that says I am certified to be harassment free, I am pretty much a workplace atrocity at times. I'm a fan of inappropriate humor and it doesn't help that one of my best friends is Jewish, my girlfriend is Chinese, and there's practically a fart joke or double entendre in every sentence.

January 26, 2010

Unlocked from Achievement Unlocked and my Impressive e-Penis

I've been chained to my e-penis for too long and it's time I seek my freedom. But I may be getting ahead of myself. What exactly is an e-penis?

January 14, 2010

The "Broments" I Hope to Have in Army of Two: The 40th Day

EA just released Army of Two: The 40th Day, the sequel to the original Army of Two. The best part of Army of Two wasn't the excellent gun play, Unreal 3 visuals, or gun upgrades, but the moments of bromance between two dudes who just happen to be fighting bad, anti-bros together.

Army of Two isn't an action game, but a thinly veiled love story, a bold political statement hot off the heels of unjust laws like California's Proposition 8. I have high expectations for the sequel, which I started last night. It didn't take me long to come up with a short, but totally rad list of new manifestations of the bromance that I'd like to see. Or, broments if you would.

January 8, 2010

A God at the Urinal

Months ago, a good friend and co-worker of mine forwarded me a hilarious Craigslist rant about a guy's urine stream. The author was yelling at the guy he peed next to earlier about how the weak stream the author had was due to the fact he was just topping off before a meeting and how he can normally blast boats around with his awesome urine stream.

He didn't want this guy to think his one-time weak stream was indicative of a small penis.

It was brilliant, well written, and has stuck with me ever sense. It's now impossible for me to pee next to someone without mentally analyzing the volume and velocity of their pee stream.