Beth and I were just finishing a very lovely dinner at the excellent Elite Cafe on Fillmore Street. We were eating outside as we were accompanied by the miscreant corgi and the weather was really nice.
With half an apple crumb dessert to go, the unfortunate and overpowering scent of cigarette smoke entered my sinuses. I looked up from my sweet delight and noticed a sharply dressed, suited man smoking not 2 feet to my right. He was accompanied by a giggling woman with a very strong foreign accent.
I hate cigarette smoke. Even more, I hate people so oblivious to the comfort of those around them, like the assholes who immediately put their seat entirely back at the beginning of a 23 hour flight. It's important for me to note that I think it's possible to be a smoker and not be a douche.
"Could you please not smoke near me while I'm eating?" I asked. I was honestly not snarling or being rude. I made my request politely.
He grins a bit, says "Oh, sure, my apologies," and begins pacing about in front of me. I guess this is no longer smoking in front of me? His giggling harlot says something to the effect of "you are saucy" to me. She was making fun of me!
This enraged me. I could barely eat; I was just stunned at their behavior. I'm not irrational though, nor was I willing to cause a scene in front of a good restaurant on a crowded street. I calmly add "It's also illegal for you to be smoking here."
Tokyo Rose on his arm giggled and said "He doesn't like smoky." At this point, I was trying to do the math to compute whether I could kill her with my spoon.
He walked in front of my table again and said "I bet you voted for Obama, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I bet I did," I responded. Really? Because I don't like to have you smoke on my face while eating I'm some raging, bleeding heart liberal? I hope to god I have health care of some sort if types like you rule the world.
The pregnant woman sitting at the table immediately left of me nodded at me in approval of my stance. Her husband then said, "I didn't vote for him and I'd like you to stop smoking."
Wow! I really Mr. Smoky Suit gets E. Coli or Salmonella. I'm entirely willing to trade the deliciousness that is Elite Cafe for one incredible bout of fatal food poisoning. Well, make that two bouts.