Work Appropriate Week!

Despite the certificate I proudly display that says I am certified to be harassment free, I am pretty much a workplace atrocity at times. I'm a fan of inappropriate humor and it doesn't help that one of my best friends is Jewish, my girlfriend is Chinese, and there's practically a fart joke or double entendre in every sentence.

To make the workplace a better place and create a fun game in the process, next week is the inaugural Work Appropriate Week, in which non-work appropriate commentary or material is financially punished.

This includes:

• Swearing
• Sexual innuendo
• Inappropriate imagery
• Hilarious videos in poor taste
• Culturally insensitive jokes about heritage, religion, gender, and more!

Every slip up costs the offender $1, which will go towards something awesome at the end of this 5 day pain fest.

My favorite twist is that if you are a thing, you can insult or criticize a thing. This is based on the legally binding precedent set forth in Seinfeld in which Jerry believes his dentist was allowed to make Polish, Jewish, and Catholic jokes because he was or had been all of these things. It also led to the quote "You are a raging anti-dentite." 

I see this as a tactic to entice fellow inappropriate combatants. For example, if my Ecuadoran co-worker begins making fun of her dad's accent, I may want to join in. Will I be able to resist? Will anybody?

Beats the shit out of me.